The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips. How many more days of the holiday are there? Welcome to Mummy's world. Where I had envisaged childish faces glowing with wonder as they took in the treasures of our nation's illustrious past, we instead had me shouting 'Don't touch, DON'T TOUCH, FFS DON'T TOUCH!" while stoutly shod pensioners tutted disapprovingly and drafted angry letters to the Daily Mail in their heads. As soon as we got there I remembered why I don't use the flipping National Trust membership - because National Trust properties are full of very precious and breakable items, and very precious and breakable items don't really mix with children, especially not small boys. I brightly announced that perhaps it might be a lovely idea to go to a stately home and le. Monday, 25 July The first day of the holidays. The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.
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